“Everyone else is dead.”
May I proselytize for a moment? If you’re reading this post, you absolutely must listen to the audiobook version of Beauty Queens (Scholastic Audio, 2011) written and read brilliantly by Libba Bray. Believe me, it will make your life worth living, your hair luxurious, and your skin blemish-free. It will also help get you out of bed in the morning, eager to spend a few blissful minutes in the car, listening to the book on your way to work. (That might just be me.)
Libba’s Grammy Award–worthy audio performance sparkles with the blinding light of a million sequined gowns. If you don’t know the premise, read what Christine Heppermann had to say in her Horn Book review of the book last May, then come back here and — “Yoo-hoo! Over here! I’m wigglin’ my fingers for y’all’s attention!… Y’all come on down and gather round, horseshoe formation—thank you.”
In addition to snorting with unladylike laughter at the crazy plot turns, at Libba’s lovingly caricatured voices for the many over-the-top characters, and at the chirpy footnotes and sanitized messages from pageant sponsor The Corporation, other side effects may include a compulsion to speak like Taylor Rene Krystal Hawkins, Miss Teen Dream Texas, “the state where dreams are bigger and better — nothing against y’all’s states”; unwelcome fantasies featuring a bewigged, platform-shoe-wearing dictator; and a desire to be free of unwanted body hair.
You can thank me after you’ve exfoliated.
(Oh, and here’s Libba to tell you about the book in her own words!)