The Democratic party is honored to announce the 2012 election ticket: presidential nominee Charlotte A. Cavatica and running mate Octavian Nothing. Despite a valiant voter drive on the part of Mr. Nothing’s loyal supporters, Ms. Cavativa ultimately won the day with her focus on educational reform. Both Joey Pigza, running on a universal healthcare platform, and Heather, advocating fiscally responsible social programming, have said they are strongly considering runs in 2016.
Below, Ms. Cavatica and Mr. Nothing accept their nominations.
Some race! I’m very honored to accept the presidential nomination. With a proactive, no-nonsense approach to problem-solving — evident in my curriculum vitae — my administration will ensure access to quality education for all of our nation’s young people. Furthermore, I’m confident that Mr. Nothing, no ordinary also-ran, will make a simply terrific collaborator in this great work.
— Democratic presidential nominee Charlotte A. Cavatica,
Compatriots and Countrymen: I accept this nomination with equal parts euphoria and humility, my baser indulgence of emotions (the breast-swelling display of pride being indicative of the former) tempered by heartfelt respect and boundless admiration for my fellow candidates, nay, kinsmen, as loathe am I to stamp such worthy personages with the label of adversary, our souls and minds so allied in common cause to the betterment of our Nation
— Democratic vice presidential nominee Octavian Nothing,
The Astonishing Life of Octavian Nothing: Traitor to the Nation, Vols. I & II