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“Alexander Made-of-Felt”: An Affectionate Parody

Alexander Hamilton got a lot farther by working a lot harder, and wrote like he was running out of time. Lin-Manuel Miranda turned the world of theater upside down. And recently, Jack and Holman Wang, creators of the Cozy Classics series, paid tribute to Miranda’s final performance as Hamilton with a tiny but impressive achievement of their own: a needle-felted Miranda-as-Hamilton. Needle-felting, according to Chronicle Books, involves “entangling wool fibers by repeatedly stabbing the wool with a specialized barbed needle. As the wool fibers entangle, they get firmer and firmer, allowing one to sculpt the wool.” In other words, it’s a lot of work.

lin-manuel miranda as hamilton in felt

In their honor, I felt moved to attempt a parody…of Miranda’s “Alexander Hamilton,” of course.

How does a pile of wool, a handful, no more,
and a needle, poked by Cozy Classics folks
determined to succeed, a tiny guy with
even smaller collar
grow up to be a hero and a scholar?

The much-smaller Schuyler suitor is so astute or
maybe just resolute, or
kind of a straight shooter.
Maybe at the root, it’s that each tiny boot is
so much cuter

than the boots of the roots of any nation you’ve seen.
Imagine the needle jab, jabbing in between
the details from his temple to his toes, and how much caffeine
went into this figurine — this wasn’t made by machine.

Alexander Made-of-Felt.
Yes, it’s an Alexander made of felt.
He’ll build a nation with the hand he’s dealt.
Just you wait, just you wait.

Alexander Made-of-Felt.
Is there a sequel? Go see “Roosevelt!”
Creative art can make our faces melt.
Just you wait, just you wait!

Shoshana Flax About Shoshana Flax

Shoshana Flax, assistant editor for The Horn Book, Inc., is a former bookseller and holds an MFA in Writing for Children from Simmons College.

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Comments

  1. Shoshana you have BLOWN US ALL AWAY! You AMAZE AND ASTONISH!

  2. Katie Bircher Katie Bircher says:

    Writing amazing parodies is Shoshana’s superpower. :)

  3. I hope you are on Facebook or Twitter so you can send a picture directly to Lin-Manuel, with your verses. Both are utterly brilliant.
    How lucky we are to be alive right now!

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