Breaking news: Democratic candidate Cavatica “bloodthirsty”?

scandal headline

Democratic presidential candidate Charlotte A. Cavatica addresses allegations from animal rights groups: “Recently animal rights advocates have expressed concerns about my diet and my so-called ‘bloodthirstiness’. Those concerned for the well-being of our animal friends need only look to my tireless efforts to save young pig Wilbur (well-documented by biographer E.B. White) for proof that […]

KidLit Election 2012: Democratic primary results are in!

Charlotte candidate

The Democratic party is honored to announce the 2012 election ticket: presidential nominee Charlotte A. Cavatica and running mate Octavian Nothing. Despite a valiant voter drive on the part of Mr. Nothing’s loyal supporters, Ms. Cavativa ultimately won the day with her focus on educational reform. Both Joey Pigza, running on a universal healthcare platform, and Heather, […]

KidLit Election 2012: Democratic primary polls OPEN NOW

KidLit 2012 Democratic candidates

  Our Democratic candidates Octavian Nothing, Joey Pigza, Charlotte A. Cavatica, and Heather have presented their presidential platforms for your consideration. Now it’s time to exercise your right to vote! The Democratic polls open now and close at noon tomorrow, Friday, September 7th. We invite you to campaign for your favorite candidate or nominate another […]

A message from Heather, Democratic presidential candidate

Heather candidate

Thank you. Yes, Mamas Jane and Kate are doing fine, still doctoring and hammering away at the SisterCrone Retirement Village, so you know I’m not about to let anything happen to Social Security anytime soon. I can count a lot higher than two now — heck, Troy and I have FOUR kids — and I […]

A message from Charlotte A. Cavatica, Democratic presidential candidate

Charlotte candidate

Salutations! With my long history of literacy outreach, it’s no surprise that I am a lover of words. A brighter future for our nation depends on a single, exceptional word: E-D-U-C-A-T-I-O-N.  We all have to pick up a living somehow. Human, pig, or spider, one finds it far easier to attain an occupation both fulfilling […]

A message from Joey Pigza, Democratic presidential candidate

Joey Pigza candidate

I’m not going to lie: being “wired” runs in my family. I always need to be active, so quick access to doctors and the right meds and Band-Aids is really important to keep me calm. My mom taught me to think about good things when I’m starting to get out of control, and there is […]

A message from Octavian Nothing, Democratic presidential candidate

Octavian Nothing candidate

Brethren and patriots of our vaunted nation: Having decimated the rampant scourge of smallpox and heaved off the yoke of Mother England (the term so used by myself in ironic jest, for not hardly could the warm constitution of motherhood be aptly applied to that monarchical State), I regret to affirm that we find ourselves […]