This just in: Republican candidate Kincaid nudity scandal!

scandal headline

Republican presidential candidate Jamie Kincaid addresses accusations of public indecency: “By now, you’ve probably seen that picture of me in the fountain. (If not, don’t look at chapter 5 in the exposé E. L. Konigsburg wrote about me and my sister.) Okay, sure, I was naked. But, come on, how do you take a bath? Talks […]

KidLit Election 2012: Republican primary results are in!

Jamie Kincaid candidate

The Republican party is honored to announce the 2012 election ticket: presidential nominee Jamie Kincaid and running mate Edward Cullen. The battle was hard-fought, with a certain avian write-in candidate flying very close to the top spot. And don’t count out Janie Gibbs for a run in 2016 — BOOM! Below, Mr. Kincaid and Mr. […]

A message from Janie Gibbs, Republican presidential candidate

Janie Gibbs candidate

My presidential candidacy can be summed up in one word: boom! Most politicians are liars and, as my friend Harriet would say, finks, but I’m here to blow the lid off government by taking a hard line against parents, phonies, and forced participation in dance class. I’m a scientist, but not one of those do-gooder […]

A message from The Pigeon, Republican presidential candidate

Do not vote for the Pigeon

  Right now Washington politics is for the birds! No one there can agree on anything. Nothing EVER gets accomplished. And pige— I mean, people don’t get what they want! In the past, I’ve been a victim of this injustice. I’ve lived on the streets and known hardship. But I’m no longer willing to sit […]

A message from Jamie Kincaid, Republican presidential candidate

Jamie Kincaid candidate

I may be rich, but I know the importance of fiscal responsibility. I got where I am today by scrimping and saving — my allowance, birthday money, Christmas money, occasional gambling winnings… It’s undecent for our government to spend taxpayers’ hard-earned money willy-nilly on extravagances like hot fudge sundaes and welfare programs. As a nation […]

A message from Edward Cullen, Republican presidential candidate

Edward Cullen candidate

You talk about your freedom, your independence, but I know what you really want: protection. Not just from the random cars and predators that dog your path, but from your own weak self and unholy cravings. I will always be with you. My voice, my hypnotic eyes, the magnetic force of my personality — all […]