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A message from The Pigeon, Republican presidential candidate

Do not vote for the Pigeon


Right now Washington politics is for the birds! No one there can agree on anything. Nothing EVER gets accomplished. And pige— I mean, people don’t get what they want! In the past, I’ve been a victim of this injustice. I’ve lived on the streets and known hardship. But I’m no longer willing to sit back on my tail feathers; it’s time to take a stand. Individuals should get what they ask for! I’ll protect rights! I won’t back down in the face of partisan pressure! I won’t take “NO” for an answer! I’ll make it happen! THE PIGEON WANTS TO BE PRESIDENT!!!!!!!!

For the sake of the unity of the party that made this country great, I am withdrawing my candidacy. The fact that Edward Cullen has demanded a copy of my long-form birth certificate means nothing. NOTHING. PIGEONS DON’T HAVE BIRTH CERTIFICATES YOU FREAK OF NATURE!!!

— The Pigeon

This post is part of our ongoing Horn Book KidLit Election 2012 coverage. This week, Republican candidates present their platforms; polls will open for the Republican ballot Thursday, August 30th, and close at noon on Friday, August 31st. Look for our announcement of the winning Republican presidential candidate and his or her running mate Friday afternoon. Beginning next Tuesday, September 4th, the Democrats will have their say. Click on the tag KidLit Election 2012 to see all posts.

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