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Five questions for the presidential candidates: the KidLit Election 2012 presidential debate

Candidates for President

Horn Book editor in chief Roger Sutton moderates a debate between Ms. Charlotte A. Cavatica, the Democratic presidential candidate, and Mr. Jamie Kincaid, the Republican presidential candidate.

1. If elected, which campaign promise will you keep first?

Charlotte: Obviously, education is a top priority for me. If I can teach a pig to spell, why, I can accomplish anything! Evaluating the Common Core State Standards would be my first order of business. Citizens who are educated are self-sufficient and contribute to a strong and healthy society, be it barnyard or metropolis.

Jamie: Fiscal responsibility is my game. I’d address the deficit by streamlining our spending. Hot-fudge sundaes? There’s no free lunch on my watch!

2. If your opponent were to win, what would be the most important piece of advice you could offer him or her?

Charlotte: Be humble. And keep your clothes on.

Jamie: Don’t overextend yourself — the nation needs you to be in good health.

3. Who among your presidential predecessors do you admire most?

Charlotte: Abraham Lincoln. He fought for equal rights and opportunities for all.

Jamie: Reagan.

4. Do you think a presidential candidate’s private life should be off limits?

Charlotte: I have nothing to hide. During the campaign my “lifestyle” was called into question. I have, and always will, act according to my nature, as all of us must. I would prefer privacy but will address, head-on, with all my eyes open, any concerns voters may have.

Jamie: Neither my private life — nor my private parts — are anyone’s business.

5. Polls show you each have forty-seven percent support from likely voters. How will you reach out to the other side? How will you convince the undecided six percent?

Charlotte: Unlike Mr. Kincaid, I was not born with the proverbial silver spoon in my mouth. I come from meager beginnings — a barn — and can relate to a wide variety of constituents, be they human, ovine, pig, rat, or arachnid.

Jamie: Hey, I’ve had my own lean times when every penny scraped from the bottom of a public fountain counted. My ability to stretch each dollar makes me the perfect person to bring our nation to greater prosperity.

Breaking news: A third-party presidential candidate was escorted from the room after attempting to unofficially participate  in the debate. The candidate allegedly shouted at the two candidates on stage, “I speak for the citizens!”

For more on the Horn Book KidLit Election, click the tag KidLit Election 2012. The polls open on November 1!

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