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Ask Rapunzel: Family matters

Feel like you’ve been sleeping on a bowling ball? Mother-in-law a real witch? Broke as beans (magic or otherwise)? Ask Rapunzel! She can untangle any fairy-tale dilemma.


My family still treats me like the “simpleton” even though I married the princess and am currently their king and liege lord. The family reunion is coming up and, as we’re the only ones with a palace, we are hosting. I hate to participate, but what choice do I have?

—Formerly Simple John

Dear King Formerly: It’s time to “man up” and sit down with your family! Explain that you need them to get with the times and treat you with the respect you have always deserved! Be firm! If they continue to jeer and ridicule, issue a royal proclamation that the theme for the reunion is “Public Floggings” or “Beheading: The Ultimate Outdoor Sport” (both so popular with the villagers!). Command your family to be featured participants. Then sit back and enjoy yourself!


Don’t miss any of Rapunzel’s fantastic advice! Click on the tag Ask Rapunzel to read all of her columns. For conflicts requiring legal mediation, Rapunzel recommends Judge Judy, the fairest judge in storybook land.

Elizabeth Thomas About Elizabeth Thomas

Elizabeth Thomas has an MFA from Hamline University in Writing for Children & Young Adults. She lives in Minneapolis, Minnesota.



  1. Dear Rapunzel,
    May I call you Punny? I have a minor complaint: as a balding sort of guy, I find your display of tresses distressing. You can call me Jealous (though I wish you wouldn’t), but I think it’s just a bit over the top (get it?) and possibly even offensive to the follically challenged.
    And I don’t think you really live in Minneapolis, either. Neener, neener, neener!

  2. Ron Stevens says:

    Dear Over the Top,
    Please do not be intimidated by my gorgeous, flowing locks! The amount of money I spend a month on conditioner could fund the pickle budget of a small-ish country.
    And you are quite right! I should correct my residence! In my part of the woods, stalkers are welcome! Bears gotta’ eat something.

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