For as long as I can remember, I’ve made up stories to help me explain the world. That’s not unique to me. People have been creating stories to explain reality for the entirety of human history. Even ­history itself is basically reality fanfiction that we mostly agree to pretend is definitely one hundred percent real.

When I was young, I told myself I had superpowers — that I could blend in and prevent people from seeing me — but I couldn’t always control it, so sometimes they didn’t see me even when I wanted them to.

When my mom got mad and yelled at me for something when I didn’t think I deserved it, I wove intricate stories to explain why. A series of accidents and ­injuries that had led her to the moment when she was angry with me without cause.

When I changed schools at the end of fourth grade, I created elaborate fantasies about how my best friend was going to get along without me. I imagined an alternate history where we remained friends and grew up together — the conversations we had, the adventures we went on. It was easier to cope knowing we were both going to be all right, even if only in my mind.

When I was in high school and coming to terms with my sexuality, I created worlds to protect myself in. Worlds where talking to my crush wouldn’t result in my being bullied or beaten up. Worlds where I was safe.

Fantasy in the works that I create is a conversation with reality. Sometimes a polite discussion, sometimes a brutal, tempestuous argument, but always a two-sided conversation. Why is the world this way? What will happen if we continue down this path? Yes, life can be devastatingly awful, but every second is definitely worth living.

Reality isn’t always great. In fact, reality truly does suck sometimes. It can be cold and cruel and unwelcoming. But reality is also a necessity for the creation of fantasy.

Without reality, I’m just an old man with a computer talking to himself.

From the May/June 2025 special issue of The Horn Book Magazine: Perception and Reality. Find more in the "Reality Reimagined" series here.

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