Don’t get me wrong.

Don’t get me wrong. White guys working in children’s books have it good. In fact, it would be fair to say we have it pretty much made. But in the wake of host
Daniel Handler’s remarks at Wednesday’s National Book Awards, I find myself thinking about the privileged but peculiar position white guys have in this field. (Some of what I have to say applies to the non-white guys, too, but I am not going to generalize that far.)
I wasn’t at the event and can’t bring myself to watch
the video because I know it would have me writhing in empathetic embarrassment. So all of my information is from the transcript and subsequent internet outrage. And what I’m left with—even more than my happiness at Jackie Woodson’s win—is how sorry I feel for Handler, and how easily I could have fallen into the same trap. (I confess to some impatience with all the talk of him stealing Her Moment because Woodson is getting a
way longer moment than any children’s National Book Award winner has ever gotten before. Quickly, who won last year?)
The main thing about being a white guy in children’s books is that you get a lot more attention—
not to mention Caldecott Medals!—than you would otherwise, and than is really good for you. Award committees want you as a member. Conferences want you to speak. People look to you for a "male point of view"—especially when they are seeking to solve the perennial problem of The Boy Reader, attention to whose needs getting far more ink than the needs of his sister. If you’re good-looking—and here I speak from observation—you are really set. Molly Ivins would have said that you were born on third base, and, professionally speaking, she would have been right.
It’s a nice life that’s easy to get used to. But as Handler learned, it can bite you in the ass. There he was in the spotlight, doing what he’s been amply rewarded for doing for years, and he overreached. He was trying to show us that he was as cool as we’ve long been saying he was:
I am so cool I can get away with a racist-not-racist watermelon joke. He couldn’t, and I’m sorry there was no one to tell him he wouldn’t. Or maybe he didn’t think to ask? It's the least a guy can do.
[Edited 11/26/14 to add: I see this is still making the rounds on Twitter, so I just wanted to make clear that I have since realized how stupid it was (as I posted in the comments on Monday). See also yesterday's entry, "
Some People Smarter than I.]
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Anon
What Handler said was wrong and hurtful. They wrecked a triumphant moment for a wonderful writer. His contrition has been exemplary, in the best sense of the word. The scar will remain. Woodson's article in the New York Times yesterday was hurtful in a different way. She said that Handler is a friend, and then shamed him in public. A person should never shame a friend in public. I hope she makes amends.Posted : Nov 30, 2014 06:01
John Coy
Thank you everybody for a discussion that illuminates where we are. Roger, I am surprised that you haven't watched the video. As others have pointed out, this was not the only joke made that singled out African-Americans. Mr. Handler also made an awkward comment about probable cause in reference to short-listed poets Claudia Rankine and Fred Moten. Interestingly, what we are discussing is exactly the topic of Claudia Rankine's NBA-nominated book CITIZEN. I encourage everybody to read it to gain new perspective and insight into our ongoing issues.Posted : Nov 25, 2014 03:54
Sergio R.
I'd like to express my sympathy and empathy for Roger, who candidly expressed his feelings.Posted : Nov 25, 2014 02:56
Bic
An instructional video: "Getting Called Out: How To Apologize." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C8xJXKYL8pUPosted : Nov 24, 2014 11:28
Ellen Oh
When I learned of Mr. Handler’s donation and pledge I wasn't happy about it. I was still angry and disappointed. I would rather the remarks had never happened in the first place. Because it was ugly and awful and made us all aware that there is still much casual racism in this country. I do not think Mr. Handler is a racist. But his unfortunate remarks were. And yet he was able to own up to his mistake and apologize sincerely, without any qualifiers, and state unequivocally that yes, his remarks were racist. More than any donation that he made, I respected his apology and recognition that his words were hurtful, wrong and racist. A very difficult thing for any person to do, especially publicly. How ironic, then to read this post and the remarks of another white male poster, both talking about how we should sympathize with the offender more than the victim. And instead of approving of Mr. Handler's sincere apology and how hard it must have been to rise above his own pride and embarrassment, they just feel sorry that he had to make it. This saddens me. But it also makes crystal clear how important it is to continue this dialogue. While there was no harm meant by either of the posters, the problem is that words have power. Words are weapons. When you say "I feel sorry for him bc that could have been me" then you are recognizing that you have the ability to make the very same mistake. That you yourself might have the same inherent bias that could lead you to make a highly inappropriate and racist remark. Instead of feeling sorry, what you should do is self-analyze this feeling and find out where that internal bias rests inside of you and then cut it out like a cancerous tumor. And then you will not have to feel sorry for Mr. Handler anymore.Posted : Nov 24, 2014 10:47